as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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