Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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