well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
