She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
