is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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