My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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