i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
