remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
