If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
