If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My vagina just clenched in fear
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
