oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize