hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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