we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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