she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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