Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
