so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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