Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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