i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize