I just made out with a guy for $7.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Randomize
