I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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