Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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