It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
