He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
