last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
