Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
another moral hangover. fuck.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize