You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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