I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
