Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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