We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
