I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
