oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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