I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
