You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
