yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
