I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
