Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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