I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize