So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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