Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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