so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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