We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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