I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
