Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
