Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize