Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
