So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Can I color on your dick again?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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