well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
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Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
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There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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