I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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