my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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