And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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