discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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