I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
