Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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