is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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