Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize