i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
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I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the liver wants what the liver wants
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?