Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
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He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.