I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.