Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Randomize
Follow @tfln