i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles