I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
