I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
